


Ianthony/Smosh One-Shots

by TarableTaralynn



Category: Smosh
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-28
Updated: 2021-02-28
Packaged: 2021-03-19 10:34:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29749194
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TarableTaralynn/pseuds/TarableTaralynn
Summary: This book is a collection of my Ianthony and Smosh one-shots. There will be other Smosh members in it other than my obsessions Ian and Ianthony. Any requests feel free to ask and I'll see what I can do.
Kudos: 1





	1. An Ianthony Kind Of Love (Ianthony)

The wind picked up again making my hair move with it, even though I wasn't wearing a jacket I didn't feel the cold. It began to rain as I sat on the edge of the cliff looking out at the roaring ocean crashing against the rocks. I shivered a little, even though my body felt the cold, my brain and heart didn't register it. I sighed as I began to cry, my tears mixing with the rain, I picked up a rock and threw it over the edge into the water below; I needed a distraction, something to get my mind off the most _humiliating_ moment of my life. Humiliating doesn't describe it well enough...I don't think there are any words too! It was a _mistake_ , a mistake that cost me everything! How could I have been so _stupid_? I ruined my friendship with him, all because I _kissed_ him!  
  
I won't lie, I had wanted to do that for so long now and I have been in _love_ with him for a long time, years actually. I never had the guts to tell him though afraid I'd lose him completely if I did and he didn't feel the same. So, I suffered in silence, glad to have him in my life as my best friend at least. There were times when I almost confessed, but then I'd chicken out the second he was near me. I lived with the fear that he'd find out and that would be the end of our friendship. As the days passed and he was still oblivious to my love I let myself relax knowing my love was still my secret.  
  
He's the only one in the world who knows everything about me; how crazy I' am and yet he's still my best friend. We've done everything together, we still do, we're _inseparable,_ he gets me. Being with him is the only time I can be myself and I truly feel alive, he's my everything. As clichéd and girly as it sounds I'd give my life for him. We know each other so well, we finish each other's sentences and know what the other is thinking or feeling just by looking at them. Or, at least that's what I _thought_ , until I stupidly thought today he was returning my love and I kissed him.

I kissed him...I'm such a freaking _idiot_! Everything started off innocently enough this morning when we decided to just get in the car and drive until we couldn't anymore, both of us needing a break from work. So we packed and then headed out on our adventure, it was like something out of a romantic movie it was _perfect_ ; just him and I on a crazy adventure. It felt like we had driven for days, finally, by nightfall, we came here to a small town right near the ocean. We decided to stay so we found a hotel and after dumping our stuff off in our room we decided to go eat, we found a place and had dinner; it was so nice to be alone with him, I never wanted dinner to end.  
  
It did though and after paying we headed back to the hotel where we went to our room to relax. Once inside he sat on his bed, I sat on mine and we decided to watch TV, we found something we both liked and sat back to watch. Halfway through the show, he asked if he could sit with me, saying my bed was closer to the TV than his, I agreed. He jumped from his bed to mine both of us laughing, he climbed over me and sat beside me and got comfortable, we went back to watching the show. For some reason having him close to me tonight made all my hidden urges rush to the surface, I could _barely_ keep them to myself.  
  
He must have sensed something because he turned to look at me; I felt his eyes on me so I looked at him. He smiled at me, our faces so close I could feel his warm breath on my skin; my heart was beating so loud I was sure he could hear it. I couldn't take it any longer and I closed the distance between us slowly, _painfully_ slow, never losing eye contact with him. He never spoke or moved away so I figured he wanted it as much as I did. I kissed him, I threw every bit of longing and desire I had into the kiss. When I pulled away he had the strangest look on his face, a look I had never seen before and my heart sank. I got up as fast as I could not looking at him, I couldn't bear to see the look of _disgust_ on his face. I threw my shoes on, he tried stopping me calling my name, but I ignored him and walked out.

I walked through town, wanting to put as much distance between us as I could. I couldn't get his face out of my head, I had just ruined our friendship I felt like an ass, how could I have been so _stupid_! I wandered around town not sure where I was going, I didn't care I just needed to get away from him, and I ended up here on the cliff.  
  
It's been a couple of hours at least since I left, the rain is still falling and I'm still a screw-up! I stood up and walked closer to the edge its safe...I _think_ ; with my luck though it isn't and I'll fall to my death. I'm depressed _yes_ , suicidal _no_ , but if I did fall it wouldn't be a horrible thing. I watch the storm on the ocean and sigh, my life was over he probably hated me and had left town without me. Maybe, I could start over here? Move on without the constant reminders of what I had done everywhere I went.  
  
Suddenly I hear footsteps, they're coming towards me I can hear them as the person runs. I don't turn around, right now I could care less if anyone appeared, and truthfully, I'd rather be alone to wallow in my stupidity. I throw another rock into the water watching it disappear; hoping whoever it is will just keep running past me. The person comes into the clearing where I' am and stops, _great_ my luck keeps getting _better._  
  
"Ian _,_ I fou... _found_ you."

" _Anthony_?" I ask shocked as I turn around.

"I've been look...looking all over for you." Anthony said bending over trying to catch his breath.

"What? _Why_?" I asked confused.

"I was worried about you, you took off before I..." He trailed off as he finally realized where I was standing. "Ian, _please_ don't do this?" He begged fear in his eyes.

"I get it, Anthony. You didn't need to come here and rub it in, _thanks_ though! You hate me and I ruined everything, so just go away and leave me the _hell_ alone!" I answered feeling my already broken heart break a little more.

"Ian, please I'm _begging_ you." Anthony said coming closer to me tears in his eyes. " _Don't_ do this."

"Go _away_ , Anthony, let me suffer alone!" I said angrily, as I turned my back to him.

"Don't...don't _kill_ yourself, _please_!" Anthony pleaded standing behind me, his tears falling silently. "I...I'm _begging_ you!"

"What? _Kill_ myself?" I said confused, I turned around quickly to face him without realizing I was closer to the edge than I thought. "I'm _not_..." I trailed off when I felt my foot slip.

I tried to keep my balance, but the rain made the rocky ledge slippery and the more I tried to stay on my feet the more I slipped. I couldn't stop myself and before I could say or do anything I felt myself fall over the edge. I'm not even sure if I made any noise as I fell, it happened so fast, I closed my eyes and waited to hit the cold water; if I was _lucky_! When I didn't I opened my eyes confused, I looked up into the brown eyes of Anthony, he was leaning over the edge holding onto both of my arms. I held onto him tighter, he began pulling me up as I climbed using whatever I could. I could see the fear in his eyes as I neared the top, I was almost on solid ground again when my foot slipped and I began to slip out of Anthony's grip. I tried to climb, but the damn rain was making it difficult. Suddenly he let go of my left arm when I slipped again and he quickly held my right arm with both of his hands. Hearing him call my name, and the fear in his eyes when I slipped gave me a renewed faith...maybe our friendship _could_ be saved? I looked down at the water crashing against the rocks and I became frozen with fear. Sensing my fear Anthony called out to me, his voice broke through my fear and I looked at him as he spoke to me again.

" _Don't_ look down Ian, keep your eyes on _me_ , okay?" He said, I nodded, scared shitless. "Good, I'll _pull_ and you _climb, r_ emember, keep your eyes on _me_!"

" _Don't_ let me fall _,_ Anthony, _please_!" I begged as we began.

"I won't, I _promise_!" He answered.  
  
10 long minutes later, I was finally back with him on solid ground. He wrapped his arms around me so tightly I thought he'd break something, but I didn't care. I held onto him just as tight, I could feel him shake as he cried silently his head buried in my hair, mine buried in his neck. We sat like that for a few minutes until he pulled away and looked me in the eye, both his hands on my face our foreheads touching, he closed his eyes tight before opening them again and spoke his voice shaking slightly.

"You're _safe_! When I saw you at the ledge I was so afraid you were going to..." He trailed off closing his eyes again.

"I wasn't going to jump, Anthony." I said quietly.

"Why did you leave like that?" He asked putting his hands in his lap. "I tried to stop you, but you ignored me."

"I left because of what happened, I ruined our friendship and I couldn't bear to hear you say you hated me!" I said looking away sadly.

"Hate you? _Why_ would I hate you?"

"Oh, I don't know? Maybe because I _kissed_ you? Or the fact that I'm in _love_ with you?" I answered.

"You're...you're in _love_ with me?" He asked, that same look of disgust on his face again, I stood and turned my back to him. "Ian, _don't_ run away from me again, _please_?" He begged as he stood and came to me.

"Anthony, spare me the whole _I like you, but not in_..." I was cut off when Anthony grabbed me and kissed me.

"You _talk_ too much, dude." Anthony said smiling when the kiss ended.

"Okay...either I really _did_ fall to my death and this is in my _head_ or..."

"Or, I love _you_ too!" Anthony said interrupting me smiling.

"You do?"

"I do, I have for a few _years_ actually. I...I didn't tell you cause I was afraid you'd hate me and I'd ruin our friendship!" He answered.

"That's why _I_ didn't either!" I admitted. "Wait, if you love me, then why did you make that face when I kissed you and then again when I told you I loved you?" I asked still trying to process everything.

"Ian, when you kissed me, I was in complete shock! My best friend, who I've wanted to kiss for so long, was kissing me. It was a lot to process dude; _especially_ after a kiss like _that_!" Anthony answered smiling.

"We are such idiots!" I said as we laughed.

"Come on, let's go back to our room." Anthony said smiling holding out his hand, I took it and he laced our fingers together.  
  
As we walked back to the hotel in the rain, people looked at us like we had lost our damn minds as we walked slowly oblivious to the rain. Anthony's talking, but truthfully, I'm not listening as I stare at him, a smile permanently stuck on my face. I finally had the man of my dreams, and that's all I ever wanted. I could care less about what happens next; as long as I have _Anthony_...I have _everything_!  
  
 **  
**

**THE END!**


	2. Missing You (Ianthony)

The person who said: 'Tis better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all' was _wrong_! Maybe, they never had the chance to experience a love like I shared with you? If they had then they'd know the pain I feel, losing you felt like a part of me died with you.

You were my best friend, my rock, my smile my everything, and without you by my side, I feel lost. We shared so much together over the years first, as best friends, then lovers. As best friends, we shared jokes, pranks, and laughter there was nothing that we didn't do, I could go on for _days_ and still _not_ get through all the memories we shared. As lovers we shared _more_ , we shared our hearts, bodies, and souls we became _one_ person. Sure, our love wasn't without struggles and fights, but we always worked through it somehow, promising each other that we'd never go to bed angry. Truthfully, neither of us could stay mad at the other for long, all it took was one smile, or look and all was forgotten. There wasn't anything we couldn't work through together, no matter how angry we were or what was said we _always_ forgave each other and came out stronger for it!

I miss everything about you, but it's the _little_ things I think I miss the most. Things like the way you smelt, your laugh, the way you'd bite your bottom lip gently when you were concentrating, or the way you'd leave me little notes around the house or at work telling me you loved me. I miss the way you'd look at me; you _always_ made me feel so loved and needed. Those are just some of the many little things I miss about you, I miss holding you, I miss telling you I love you and I miss hearing you say it back. I miss waking up and going to sleep with you by my side, always there to hold, now all I have left to hold is your _pillow,_ it still smells like you so it's almost like holding you again... _almost._  
  
Since you've been gone days and nights blend together, I hardly sleep or eat...I'm only surviving, _not_ living! Our friends have tried to help me move on and live my life, but I don't want to move on I'm _not_ ready...truthfully, I don't think I'll ever be. I've pushed them away, I know you'd be so _pissed_ with me for it, but it's easier for me to do that than have to look at them and be reminded of what we all lost. The whispers and stares from people everywhere I go, even _strangers_ have become difficult to bear, and their empty words of comfort mean _nothing_ to me. I've tried to live, I _really_ have, living for the _both_ of us...and I can't do it anymore.  
  
I think about the night you died _a_ _lot_ , and every time I do my anger and hurt consume me. You're gone all because some little wanna-be _gangster_ punk kid decided to rob the one damn coffee shop _you_ were at! You died trying to keep him from hurting anyone and because of your courage he _shot_ you...I lost you to his _gun_! You didn't die alone thankfully, someone held your hand...it should have been _me_! You died before the paramedics could get there, I rushed down to the scene after I got the phone call and I tried to get to you, but no one would let me. I watched as they loaded you into the ambulance and drove you away from me, I _never_ got to hold you or tell you I loved you one last time. You died a _hero_ and I was left _alone._  
  
Everyone keeps telling me time will lessen my pain, but they're _wrong_! It's been almost a year, and I still feel the pain of losing you as if it happened only _yesterday._ I wish with _everything_ I' am that I was stronger and I could live without you, but I'm not. My life is empty without you and as I lie here on our... _my_ bed holding a picture of us, I can feel the sleeping pills I took numbing me finally! _Please,_ forgive me for being too weak to go on anymore without you. As my eyes close for the last time, I hope I get to see you again, but if I don't I want you to know one thing...  
I'll _always_ love you, Ian!  
  
  
 **  
**

**THE END!**


	3. Love You Forever (Ianthony)

The sun shone brightly in the sky, it had only been up for an hour, but like usual _,_ Anthony Padilla had been awake to see it rise. He had never been a morning person, but for the last three months, he had found that this had become his normal routine now. He sat in his bed, leaning against the headboard, trying to find the energy to get out of bed and _fake_ his way through another day. Of course, he had become an _expert_ at faking; faking a _smile_ , faking that he was _okay_. He sighed and ran his hands over his face, before he picked his phone up off of the nightstand and checked the time and realized that his seven-year-old twins Oliver and Olivia would be waking up soon; which meant he had to prepare himself to fake his way through another long day.

He loved his kids more than anything in the world and he didn't regret having them, he just never expected to have to raise them _alone_. They were very much _loved_ and _wanted_ by himself and his husband of five years Ian Hecox. Thinking of Ian always made his heart physically ache and his breath catch in his chest, as he fought back his never-ending tears. Ian and Anthony had had the kind of love you see in movies and read about in books. They never cheated on each other and rarely fought, neither could stay mad at the other for long; they had made a promise to each other to never go to bed angry, so no matter what happened they made sure to work it out. They were like one person with two heads, they were _inseparable_ and they were as in love with each other five years later, as they were at the beginning of their relationship. They had known each other for years, they met in the sixth grade and became best friends, they grew closer over the years and even started their _dream_ job on YouTube together as Smosh. He wasn't sure _when_ their friendship had turned into love and he wasn't sure Ian had known either, but he was beyond happy that it had. They loved each other so damn much, they were _everything_ to each other, Ian had been Anthony's _entire_ world. He made Anthony feel safe and loved; as long as he had Ian then he could face anything.

A year after they were married though, Anthony began to feel like something was _missing_ from their lives and after talking to their friends and families about it, he realized that he wanted a _child_ with Ian. He knew it would be _extremely_ hard to convince Ian to adopt; they were _insanely_ busy with Smosh after all, barely having time to _sleep_ , let alone have time to raise a child. Anthony knew though that they could make it work like they always did. So, he brought it up to Ian, and just like he knew he would, Ian had refused claiming they were too busy and it wouldn't be fair to the child. Knowing what Ian would say already, Anthony had prepared his argument for it and Ian promised to at least _think_ about it. A week later, Anthony was surprised when Ian brought up the subject of adoption and after another long talk, he finally agreed to do it.

It took a while, but when they finally met chubby, happy, one-year-old twins Oliver and Olivia, they both knew they were the kids they were _meant_ to have; somehow without having any DNA from either man, they looked like the _perfect_ combination of the two of them. It wasn't just their looks that made them the perfect match, their personalities were identical to both men too; it was _fate_ that they found each other. A year later, they were legally theirs and they lived a hectic life that was always full of love and laughter. At first, they struggled to find a routine and balance that worked for them, thankfully though, they had their co-workers/friends to help them adjust. Anthony loved being a Dad, but he loved _Ian_ being a Dad more; somehow Anthony had become the disciplinarian, while Ian had become the fun Dad. He knew the twins loved them both equally, but he was jealous of how easy and natural Fatherhood came to Ian, while Anthony struggled with it sometimes.

Life wasn't perfect, it never is, but their life was pretty damn close to it. Anthony's perfect world would come crashing down around him one _heartbreaking_ night three months ago. He'll _never_ forget that night, that was the night Ian was taken from them in a car accident caused by a drunk driver. Anthony had never been without Ian before, he didn't know _how_ to live without him, he was Anthony's best friend, soul mate, strength...his _everything_. On the outside _,_ he stayed strong for their kids; who both cried out for their Daddy every night. On the inside though, Anthony felt empty, like he had _died_ with Ian.

As the lonely days and nights passed, Anthony and the twins began to slowly move on with the help of their entire Smosh family, together they began to learn how to live without Ian. Anthony was so grateful for the Smosh family, each one of them helping him in whatever ways he needed; whether it be helping with the kids, spending time with him talking, or crying with him, it didn't matter though, each one of them had been there and continued to be there for him and the kids. After Ian died, Anthony was unsure of what the future of Smosh would be, they, of course, put a video out letting the fans know about Ian and he had been blown away by the amount of love and support he had received from them. In the video, he had told the fans that they needed time to grieve and he was unsure _when_ they'd return to making videos. Honestly, to him Smosh _wasn't_ Smosh without both himself and Ian, yeah, they had the Smosh Games crew and the Smosh Squad, but at the _core,_ Smosh _was_ and always _would_ be Anthony and Ian.

A month ago, Ollie and Liv began to return to their happy selves, never forgetting Ian though. Anthony on the other hand still struggled with it, it's only been three months, dammit, he had had Ian in his life for _years_ and he's only been without him for three _months_. There were times Anthony cried missing Ian, feeling like he couldn't breathe without him. Then there were times Anthony _hated_ Ian for leaving them to face the world alone after he had _promised_ Anthony he never would! Those moments didn't happen often though, and sometimes they were replaced by moments where Anthony would just sit and think of Ian and smile or laugh at a memory.

He knew Ian would be mad at him for putting his life on hold like this, not living the life Ian had always imagined they'd have and he also knew that he wouldn't want Anthony crying for him. He took a deep breath and let it out shakily, as he picked up the framed picture of himself and Ian on their wedding day off of the nightstand and looked at it. The silent tears that had been falling now turned into a _gut-wrenching_ sob as he touched Ian's smiling face. He quickly covered his mouth with his hand, not wanting the twins to hear him; he _refused_ to cry in front of the twins to keep from upsetting them. He held the picture tightly to him and closed his eyes, today was going to be the _hardest_ day for him since the funeral...today was their six-year wedding anniversary and he wasn't sure how the _hell_ he was going to manage to keep it together. He wasn't sure he would be able to find the strength to stay strong. He was so lost in his heartache and grief that he didn't notice the bedroom door open and the twins; dressed in their PJs and carrying their favorite stuffed animals, come into the room. It wasn't until they got onto the bed, crawled onto his lap, and hugged him, whispering comforting words that he finally noticed them. He stopped crying, but continued holding them tight, his heart bursting with love for his two _incredible_ kids. At that moment he realized that Ian's _love_ , _gentle_ _spirit,_ and _strength_ lived on in their children. They pulled away; he smiled sadly at them, as they gently wiped his tears away, before they cuddled into him one on either side of him.

"Dad, do you think Daddy's in _Heaven_ watching over us?" Liv asked quietly.

"Yeah, _Baby Girl_ , I do." Anthony answered, he wasn't a religious man, but he liked to imagine that Ian _was_ in Heaven.

"Us too." Ollie and Liv said together, as they cuddled closer to him.

"I...I _miss_ Daddy's stories, he liked making them up for us and acting them out for us at bedtime." Liv said sadly, Anthony kissed the top of her head gently.

"I _miss_ that too, but I'm going to _miss_ going camping this summer with Daddy. He always took us to the _same_ place every year and we'd spend a week there." Ollie added sadly, Anthony kissed his head too.

"Yeah, me too." Liv agreed quietly. "Dad, do you _miss_ Daddy?" She asked, as she played with his wedding ring.

"Yeah, Liv, honey, I _do_." Anthony answered fighting back his tears.

"Uncles and Aunties do too." Ollie added. "Uncle Damien told us that if we're ever _really_ missing Daddy, all we have to do is hug _Princess_ and _Patches_ and Daddy can _feel_ it." He explained, as they hugged their stuffed bears that Ian had bought them, that they had named _Princess_ and _Patches_.

"Uncle Damien's right." Anthony said smiling, silently thinking how grateful he was to have his entire Smosh family to lean on.

"Uncle Lasercorn told us that him and all our Uncles are going to take us camping this summer at the place Daddy used to take us to!" Liv said excitedly, as she looked at him smiling. "Will _you_ come too, Dad, please?"

"Sure, _Baby Girl_." Anthony answered smiling. "Maybe, we could get your Aunties to come with us and we could have a big _family_ camping trip?"

" _Really_? Thank you, Dad." The twins said together happily, before they hugged him.

"Dad?"

"Yeah, Ollie?"

"Can we go see Daddy today?"

Anthony froze at the innocent question, even though it's been three months since Ian died, Anthony and the twins haven't been to his grave since the funeral. He wasn't sure he was ready, especially _not_ today, their wedding anniversary. He silently looked at his children and knew it was time; this would be _good_ for him.

"Uh, you know what, guys? Yeah, we can, we'll go after lunch, okay?"

"Yay, thank you, Dad." The twins said happily, as they hugged him again.

"Come on, let's go get dressed and have breakfast." Anthony said smiling.

****Later**:**

Anthony looked in the backseat of his car at the twins who were talking and playing with their bears and he fought his tears again. They had spent the morning at the house with their entire Smosh family; they had shown up before breakfast to be with them...to be with _Anthony_ knowing how hard today was going to be for him. He had always known how lucky him and Ian were to have all of their loved ones in their lives _before_ Ian died, but since they lost him they've been his backbone keeping him from completely falling apart. While the kids played with each other in the living room waiting for their breakfast, Anthony had told the others about the twins wanting to go see Ian and how he had agreed to go. They were all so proud of him and after they had hugged him, each of them had offered to go with them for support. As much as he appreciated the offer, he had told them no, telling them he'd be okay and that he felt like this was something he had to do with the kids alone. So, they all stayed at the house instead, while Anthony loaded the kids into the car and drove to the cemetery.

They've been sitting in the car in the cemetery parking lot now for a while, since arriving Anthony's been frozen in place, while the twins played in the backseat completely unaware of his battle or where they were. Knowing he had to do this not only for the _twins_ , but also for _himself_ , he closed his eyes and took a deep breath, before he opened his eyes again and putting a fake smile on his face he turned to the kids and spoke.

"Alright, guys, we're here."

"I can't wait to see Daddy and tell him about our camping trip!" Ollie said excitedly.

"I can't wait to tell Daddy about my first loose tooth!" Liv added just as excited as her brother.

They got out of the car; the twins holding their bears, and made the slow walk to Ian's grave, Anthony's heart aching more with each step they took. Soon, they were at his grave and he froze again, his breath caught in his chest, as tears suddenly filled his eyes. The twins let go of his hands and sat down in front of his grave. He watched as the twins talked to him and Anthony slowly made his way closer to them, before he sat down too, his tears falling silently. He didn't hear what they were saying, his eyes never left the tombstone, his tears continued to fall. Finally, he was pulled back to reality when he heard the twins saying their goodbyes.

"We _love_ you so much, Daddy and we miss you _lots_." Liv said, before they hugged their bears tightly.

"We'll come back soon and visit you again, Daddy." Ollie added.

"Uh, guys, why don't you go sit over there under that tree for a few minutes, so I can say hi to Daddy too, okay?" Anthony said smiling sadly, as he wiped his tears away.

"Okay, Dad." Ollie said, as they stood up and both handed him their bears, before they began walking away.

"Wait, guys, don't you want Princess and Patches?" Anthony asked confused.

"You can _hug_ them for a while...just give them _back_ when you're done." Liv said smiling, before they went to the tree and sat down.

Once he was alone, Anthony held the bears tightly, as he looked at Ian's grave and sighed shakily, his tears falling silently again, as he spoke.

"Hey, Ian." Anthony whispered, his voice shaking. "I'm sorry we haven't been to visit you since the...the um, funeral, baby, I...I just couldn't bring myself to come here until today and honestly, if it wasn't for Ollie and Liv, I wouldn't be here. I _love_ you so damn much, Ian and I miss you _every_ second of _every_ day. You _promised_ me, dammit, that you would _never_ leave me, but you...you _did_ , Ian, and I _hate_ you for _breaking_ your promise! Dammit, Ian, I just want you back so bad it _physically_ hurts. You know I'm not a religious man, but I...I like to imagine that you're in Heaven watching over all of us, it helps a little with the pain of losing you." Anthony paused to calm himself down.

He looked over at the twins who were sitting together under the tree talking, he smiled sadly at them, before he looked back at Ian's grave and spoke.

"You'd be so damn proud of the twins, Ian, they both miss you so much, but they're being so _brave_ and they keep me going every day. They remind me of you in a lot of ways, baby, and I know you'll live on through them. The entire Smosh family misses you too and if it wasn't for their constant love and support, I...I wouldn't have made it this far. The fans have been so supportive too, they were _devastated_ when you died and they even made so many _beautiful_ tributes to you. I...I don't know what the future of Smosh will be now that you're gone, Ian, and I know how _mad_ you'd be at me for that, but it just doesn't feel right to me to continue it without you. It doesn't feel right, but then I think about how keeping Smosh going is in a way keeping _you_ alive, it's our _legacy_." Anthony said, before he paused again and took another deep breath.

He looked at the sky trying to get his emotions under control, he closed his eyes his face still towards the sky, and even though his tears fell silently, he smiled at the warmth on his face. He then opened his eyes and looked back at Ian's grave before he continued speaking.

"Today is our six-year anniversary and I'm spending it _alone_ with a _broken_ damn heart and _memories_ of you to keep me company. I'll always love you, Ian; you were my best friend, soul mate _,_ and my other half. No one will ever replace you in my heart, you were my _forever_. I have to go now, but we'll be back more often to visit you, I promise. I _love_ you, Ian, _always_ have, _always_ will, happy anniversary, baby." Anthony said crying, as he kissed his hand, before he placed his hand on the cold tombstone and sighing stood up.

He stared at the tombstone for a few more seconds, before he wiped his tears away and taking a deep breath he walked away to where the twins were playing under the tree.

"Ready to go?" Anthony asked smiling, as he handed them back their bears, before he took their little hands in his.

"Yep, can we stop and get doughnuts to surprise Uncles and Aunties with?"

"Sure, Liv."

"Can we get Daddy's _favorite_ doughnut?" Ollie asked smiling.

"Sure, Ollie, we can get everyone one." Anthony agreed smiling.

They walked back to the car and Anthony got the twins into the car, before he got in too and started the car. As he drove away he listened to the twins talking in the backseat, before he then turned on the radio and was shocked to hear one of Ian's _favorite_ songs playing and he smiled. He knew that this was Ian's way of letting them know he was alright and still with them. At that moment, Anthony knew they'd all be okay one day and they'd move on together, but they'd _never_ forget Ian. Suddenly, he heard the twins singing along to the song, so smiling, he turned it up and the three of them sang along at the top of their lungs, as Anthony drove. As he looked at his kids through the rearview mirror his heart felt a little lighter, his heart will never be completely whole again now that Ian was gone, but he _knew_ that one day in the future he'd be okay enough to live again for _himself_ and _Ian_.

**THE END!**


End file.
